Posts Tagged ‘humor’

The Final Trumpet for the Donald Reality Show?

July 1, 2016

Donald Trump has long been the narcissistic nadir of “reality TV shows”. From his three beauty pageants (Miss U.S.A., Miss Teen U.S.A., and Miss Universe) to “The Apprentice”, Trump intruded into American households like an infestation of cockroaches. His bombastic voice was unmistakable, and his face (topped by that unfortunate poodle-skin cap) was as ubiquitous as the McDonald arches, and just as unappetizing. Lately, however, it seems his ratings are dropping like bombs from a Mexican Air Force plane.
In his latest media show, “Who Wants to be the President?”, he is making the rival TV show “The Clintons of Clueless County” look good. Considering the sleazy sex scandals and the flaunting of felonious fecklessness of that long-running satire, it was hard to imagine any act could look worse.
But now his rats are deserting the airship—i.e., the blimp. Staff members are quitting or developing sudden, inexplicable diseases. The sponsors have thought twice about spending bad money after worse. And, whether he invites politicians or celebrities, two of the most shameless self-promotion groups in this portion of the known universe, they politely (and sometimes impolitely) decline to appear. No guest stars, no extravaganza. Just a sad show that ends, as T.S. Eliot so poignantly put it: Not with a bang, but a whimper.
Do we really want this show to run another four years? It was funny for a while, but I personally think it’s time that show was cancelled.


If The Donald becomes president, better duck!

March 5, 2016

I’m worried. Yes, it’s about The Final Trump-et.
Okay, I suppose I could put up with a racist and religious bigot as president. After all, the First Amendment even gives us the right to air our . . . um, personal biases in public, right? We’re just not supposed to act on them, such as building fortifications across the national line to keep the riffraff out.

And the British parliament has already debated on whether or not they should ban Despicable Don from entry to their country, regardless of whether or not he actually becomes the President of the U.S. So what? We spent a lot of money and lives kicking them off our shores, so who needs them any more than OPEC, right?
Oh. So we still need OPEC. Well, still. They’re only Brits, or ‘limeys’ to those of us who are married to one.

But now I am seriously worried. There is a lawsuit against Trumped Up University.
No, I’m not worried about the lawsuit. After all, it’s the right of every Red Blooded American to make money, no matter how underhanded or corrupt the means. Moreover, in our incredibly litigious society (thank you, lawyers), most of our recent presidents have been sued or at least threatened, including Kennedy, Nixon, Reagan, Clinton, and Obama. What, it’s practically part of the job description now.

However, what I am worried about is possible senility. One of the issues of the lawsuit is that The Reality Show Regent advertised he had “personally selected the ‘best of the best’ instructors” for the faculty of his real estate university, which was a strong selling point for would-be future property princes. And yet, as the article referenced below demonstrates, the Towering Trump could not actually recall the name of a single hand-picked professor.

Here’s the deal: If the Billionaire Bigot cannot even remember professors he personally hand-picked to teach his deepest, most awesome financial secrets to eager students, how is he going to remember the members of his cabinet? After all, many of those people are actually recommended by others, not personally selected, and then they have to be approved by the senate. By the time they actually take office, he might have forgotten their names, let alone what their duties are.

Can we entrust our highest office to a man potentially bordering on Alzheimer’s Disease? Can we rely on him to remember whether or not he has ordered the bombing of all Muslim territory, or even of Mexico?

Yes. If The Donald gets elected, I’m keeping my head down. Who knows when or where the shit might fly?

A New Release for the New Year!

January 7, 2016


In the mid-1950s, during the days before the NFL became a mega-corporation, franchise fees and player salaries were very low. Rufus Ruggio, sports editor of The New York Chronicle, can’t stand the way Garrik Rockburner, millionaire owner of the local professional football team, runs his operation. Rufus and the other members of the Poker Pack, his regular Saturday night buddies who drink, swap sports stories and play poker badly, decide to start their own team.

After twenty-four years in the sports news business, Rufus knows that professional sports is all about entertainment, and embraces all shady deals, crazy promotions and low-budget tactics to field a franchise. Can the motley group of former players and future wannabes overcome their own ineptitude, not to mention the playing conditions, racial discrimination and lack of public interest during that era to survive, let alone win a few games? THE JERSEY JUPITERS give it their best shot.