Archive for the ‘Humor/Satire’ Category

Stupid Democrats . . . and Republicans

March 23, 2017

“A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat on a lake below. She shouted to him, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.”

She rolled her eyes and said, “You must be an Obama Democrat.”

“I am,” replied the man. “How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to me.”

The man smiled and responded, “You must be a Republican.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist. “How did you know?”

“Well,” said the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you are going. You’ve risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it’s my fault.”

Republicans claim Democrats are ‘all about welfare’. Well:

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The Final Trumpet for the Donald Reality Show?

July 1, 2016

Donald Trump has long been the narcissistic nadir of “reality TV shows”. From his three beauty pageants (Miss U.S.A., Miss Teen U.S.A., and Miss Universe) to “The Apprentice”, Trump intruded into American households like an infestation of cockroaches. His bombastic voice was unmistakable, and his face (topped by that unfortunate poodle-skin cap) was as ubiquitous as the McDonald arches, and just as unappetizing. Lately, however, it seems his ratings are dropping like bombs from a Mexican Air Force plane.
In his latest media show, “Who Wants to be the President?”, he is making the rival TV show “The Clintons of Clueless County” look good. Considering the sleazy sex scandals and the flaunting of felonious fecklessness of that long-running satire, it was hard to imagine any act could look worse.
But now his rats are deserting the airship—i.e., the blimp. Staff members are quitting or developing sudden, inexplicable diseases. The sponsors have thought twice about spending bad money after worse. And, whether he invites politicians or celebrities, two of the most shameless self-promotion groups in this portion of the known universe, they politely (and sometimes impolitely) decline to appear. No guest stars, no extravaganza. Just a sad show that ends, as T.S. Eliot so poignantly put it: Not with a bang, but a whimper.
Do we really want this show to run another four years? It was funny for a while, but I personally think it’s time that show was cancelled.

A Father’s Day Video

June 19, 2016

Something short, but very entertaining, to show many fathers really are great guys.

http://features.aol.com/video/quick-thinking-dad-totally-saves-day

Some Very Different Writing for Me

June 19, 2016

I have published four novels now, most of them historical fiction. So this is something very different for me.

In high school and throughout college, I acted in many school and community theater plays. I also minored in psychology in college. So I decided to combine those two disciplines. SIGI AND CARL explores the questions that plague most of us: Have we done something truly meaningful with our life? Will we leave a legacy? This surrealistic play responds through the life and relationships of Sigmund Freud, with Carl Jung as his major counter-point. Guest figures include Hamlet, Albert Einstein, Anna Freud, and Melanie Klein.

SCHOOLS AND TEACHERS, please note: I am happy to provide text copies at no charge if you would like to read in class or produce any or all of this play. As an educator, I wish to promote knowledge as well as creative thinking.

If you have time, please give this a look.

https://www.amazon.com/Sigi-Carl-Play-Three-Acts-ebook/dp/B01GT3Q5YQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1466304510&sr=8-1&keywords=sigi+and+carl

If The Donald becomes president, better duck!

March 5, 2016

I’m worried. Yes, it’s about The Final Trump-et.
Okay, I suppose I could put up with a racist and religious bigot as president. After all, the First Amendment even gives us the right to air our . . . um, personal biases in public, right? We’re just not supposed to act on them, such as building fortifications across the national line to keep the riffraff out.

And the British parliament has already debated on whether or not they should ban Despicable Don from entry to their country, regardless of whether or not he actually becomes the President of the U.S. So what? We spent a lot of money and lives kicking them off our shores, so who needs them any more than OPEC, right?
Oh. So we still need OPEC. Well, still. They’re only Brits, or ‘limeys’ to those of us who are married to one.

But now I am seriously worried. There is a lawsuit against Trumped Up University.
No, I’m not worried about the lawsuit. After all, it’s the right of every Red Blooded American to make money, no matter how underhanded or corrupt the means. Moreover, in our incredibly litigious society (thank you, lawyers), most of our recent presidents have been sued or at least threatened, including Kennedy, Nixon, Reagan, Clinton, and Obama. What, it’s practically part of the job description now.

However, what I am worried about is possible senility. One of the issues of the lawsuit is that The Reality Show Regent advertised he had “personally selected the ‘best of the best’ instructors” for the faculty of his real estate university, which was a strong selling point for would-be future property princes. And yet, as the article referenced below demonstrates, the Towering Trump could not actually recall the name of a single hand-picked professor.

Here’s the deal: If the Billionaire Bigot cannot even remember professors he personally hand-picked to teach his deepest, most awesome financial secrets to eager students, how is he going to remember the members of his cabinet? After all, many of those people are actually recommended by others, not personally selected, and then they have to be approved by the senate. By the time they actually take office, he might have forgotten their names, let alone what their duties are.

Can we entrust our highest office to a man potentially bordering on Alzheimer’s Disease? Can we rely on him to remember whether or not he has ordered the bombing of all Muslim territory, or even of Mexico?

Yes. If The Donald gets elected, I’m keeping my head down. Who knows when or where the shit might fly?

https://www.yahoo.com/politics/trump-u-suit-donald-cant-identify-his-213759095.html